C'est la vie

2011-08-08T22:11:00.000-07:00

Xiaosuan mei came to visit my room ytd ^^
made me so happy for the whole day

Here is how my first day of lesson flows:
I woke up early with maureen and we ate red bean bread tgt (i sound friggin kiddy here, but its okay)
2 more hours before lesson start
I went to leeweenam library to print my notes. Like this lib cus got my name inside xD
Totally suagu there, dunno how to use anything. Dun even know where is the printer. Thankfully got one nice prc guy helped me.
Theyare also nice individuals, but in groups that sort of change a little. >.<
After a series of poor printer networking, requeueing the long long queue and printer jams, i got my notes ready!
I also met my first 2computing friends. oh yay not loner anymore.

The lectures were @.@
The lecturer sort of assumed too much. He thought that we have learnt all of this before and went on like a choochoo train.
Wth is binary numbers doing in my slides out of the sudden. Mod isnt the mod i thought it will be.
And there was this annoying trytoohard fellow beside me, asking me whether, as a JC kid, i have learnt blah blah blah before and then grinning with glee when i shook my head, concluding that i may not survive semester 2.

I am sensible enough to heck him and focus on the lecturer. ~.~
I will show this big headed creature what a JC girl is capable of. I had enough of stares and questioning and 'ohnosheprollywontmakeit' look of pity,when ppl learnt that i am ddp business and computing.

Anyways, after that i went to queue up for about 1.5hours to get my computing notes. And i rushed to pickupmy sister.
We lunched at canteen13, bought waffle and cheese fries. Srsly,the waffle is like deepfried, damn oily. But im addicted to waffles, haha so no choice >.<
Mei mei say my room cozy much.haha! So proud manz. Hi5 to maureen ;p
I read my discrete math. Mrkang says maths stuff for jc ppl no problems one. Ok i need to provehim right. Gogogo!
Suddenly they all make sense, and i learnt how tt binary thing work.
Damm man, i uds the joke now.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world, one who uds this joke and the other who dont.

Bought my tb and dinner with mei mei
Ate theheavenly yam egg milkcurd, but still prefer the golden mile one.
Dont try the saba fish teppanyaki, super salty

Happy national day
Glad to be at home.

2011-07-31T02:03:00.000-07:00

Really going to leave the house now
And i am already homesick
Thank god i am not going australia

People are always terrified of the unusual and unfamiliar
Even if they are pretty much harmless
I want to be braver

2011-07-29T03:13:00.001-07:00

When I was 5 I thought K2 was the furthest I could get.
When I was in Primary school I didn't even thought I will make it to secondary school or even a JC. University was just a faraway dream.
While you cannot blame me, I wasn't born academically very clever.

Well here I am in an University.
Even though it is not as impressive as going overseas or wadeva. I am glad.
To those who sniger at and joked about my pri and sec sch grades: (:P)

Mum said me and my cousin are having a personality switch now, and I see her point. The story goes like this.

Imagine two little girl, one fat and fair, extremely chatty, curious and active (that's me) and the other thin and tanned, very quiet, careful and well behaved (my same-age cousin). We were very good playmate despite the huge personality difference.

19 years later, (both became/remain slim, thankfully) but June became more opened-up while I started to close up. wierd isnt it. I think AJ did that to me. No lah, kidding. I just became more serious. too serious actually. I have to remind myself everytime, chillax man it's nth serious. Hopefully UNI will turn me back.

However, looking at the state of my timetable and considering the stake of losing my scholarship. I seriously think that I can only get more serious and less fun-loving.
But I'll try.

This Week end (tmr) is my first ever family chalet!! WHOOHO hahaha. My mother promised it to me 10 years ago and finally we are having it.

2011-06-25T17:26:00.001-07:00

The nine months of honeymoon is soon going to be over.
I never expected it to pass so quickly, but at the same time I am glad it is coming to an end.
Despite all that I have achieved and learnt this holiday, I must admit that I've grown lazier.
My mind processed more slowly and less smoothly, I have resided too comfortably in my comfort zone all this while.

But I am proud to say that during this while I have done many things that I have always wanted to do.

I've doing well with my french, so glad that I can finally read all those words in the photos I have taken during my trip to paris.
I've had an unforgettable family trip to ShangHai.
I've finally gone pass my target weight of 47, shedding almost 5 kg off my original weight of 50kg. thanks to my children at amazing stars and the metal thingys in my mouth.
I 've learnt first aid.
I've taught in school in class in houses.
I've worked with so many loveable children and got the hang of singing songs and telling stories to 2/3 years olds.
oh and of course to bath and change their diapers.
I've lost count on how many interviews I have went through, most of them being embarassing and demoralising ones. But it's okay, what that counts is having just one special one that recognised me.
and the good thing is I learn along the way.
I've gotten a scholarship, though not an oversea one (i rejected that one instead) but I am going to work even harder.
I can cook and bake even better.
oh And I had my first ever birthday party with those I treasure.
I've many sisters' outings.
I did my parents and ahma very proud and it is my biggest achievement thus far.

I came to realised that the way one portray oneself is also very important, how do you want people to see you as?
The crux is just don't be lazy.
Step out of your comfort zone and be different.
Don't find a lousy excuse like, I just want to be myself, unless you're pretty sure that your "myself" is a good and flawless one.
That is why after 15 min inside the conference room with your interviewers, you can feel exhausted. Because you were showing them your real capabilty and a more accurate version of "yourself"
It is different from pretendance. if you're pretending, it's just telling a well rehearsed story. why should it feel even tiring?

my arguments may be flawed but that's how I see it differently.

What I want to do with my remaining holiday?
One more month,

Je veux visiter ma ville natale à Hainan. I want to just spend more time with my family.

2010-06-02T05:01:00.000-07:00

people are always scared of losing what they have gained isnt it
eg? of course there are plenty
when ppl get married
wives naturally will become more possesive
because they are scared of losing what they have finally achieved "a husband"
when ppl get rich, they become more worried of losing their new found wealth
what will they do?
they want to get richer
there's no limit for them on how rich they can get
thats human nature i guess
isnt it?

we always say "i'll be really really happy if i get to my goals"
but once you get there
you'll realised things arent so simple
once u have reached whr u aimed to
u'll find out that actually thats not enough, and you're obviously not getting the "really really happy feeling" that you thought you'll get.
that place u've reached arent secure enough to allow you to lead a 'happy life'
then what? you'll continue to work towards another goal

well im not saying that have goals in mind isnt good
but isnt it nice to once in awhile allow yourself to wander around aimlessly
maybe you'll discover sth unexpected accidentaly!
hahash
back to my belief that somethings are just meant to be lik that
you'll never noe what will happen in the future =P

i've been thinking for many days
i've thought really hard
what do i want to do with my life
what do i want to be
what are the consequences i have to consider

and i could only come up with a few
i want to give back to society, considering how much it has given me all these years
that point me towards public service! haha but.. not necessary
i never thought being in the public service is the only way i can contribute
i want a job that i like, well everybody could say that but i'm sure less than 10% achieved that eventually
i want a job that allow me to interact with people
i want a job that allow me to see the world
i want a job that can inspire others

lols so many wants
but nevertheless
i shall nt think too much for now
focus on doing well now
the rest shall wait.

ohya
and i wan to end off with a dream that i hope to achieve in the future!
XD
i was on the bus today
daydreaming as usual, haha
and i decided
I WANT TO HAVE MY WEDDING PHOTOS TAKEN IN PARIS
that shall be my 'childhood dream'
that i'll make it true in the future
it was such a nice dream
many beautiful flashback i had of paris jus now
omg i can already imagine its gg to be damm romantic

im gg to live in the the same hotel
awwww
but
as a practical person
i've consider alot as well
in order for this dream to come true
got 2 possibility
first, i've to marry a rich guy
second, i'm rich myself
haha

and this brings me to my next point
wow never ending sia lols
ok
guys
i had a very good impression on the male species in general for my generation
lol too naive liao
i've always thought, if a guy is nice to you or likes you
he really does mean it, without ban dian fake-ness
ya and i carried this misconception till the age of 17
dumb i noe

nvm
wait, im not over generalising
i'm completely aware that out there some where
there is still a few of you 有真心的 ^^

but recently im jus so disappointed in you males
some of you are just so superficial
come on
looks
ppl can all look the same after gg under the knife or sth
but
what really is different
what really matter is deep down inside

i don't know how you can openly criticise about a girl's appearance
your appearance is something you inherited from your parents
its a gift of some sort
i dun think anybody has the right to make fun of it
before you actually do that
didnt you even consider what if others do that to you?
you arent perfect looking yourself isnt it?

seriously thats childishness immaturity insensitivity you're displaying
and im mad about this
im mad when things lik that happen
im mad when male treat female as sth inferior to them

which is why i've also decided
im gg to learn judo
im not gg to be inferior
and i never thought men are any better than women
haha no matter hw i can imagine my perfect future husband can be
nt that i lack confidence in him
just that better to be prepared rather than suffer when it actually happens
ppl does change.

and then
(i did a lot of reflection today, thats why i've got lots to say)
i realised that there are 2 different type of guys i've met
one of which is all say no action
another is no talk but all shown in his actions

ask me which of the 2 i prefer?
haha none.
but i'll rather have the latter.

words of love
anybody with a tougue can do it
the difference is that whether you wan or not
whether one is responsible enough to even consider if he can live up to what he had said or not
before blurting them all out without actually meaning it

actions of love
ive to agree
its harder than words of love
it req deeper and sincere love one has for another to actually put serious effort to it and do it
this is true
words can lie and has no meaning
but action tells all

words of love, though it gives u instant happiness but it won't last right
actions, though you have to wait for it, their occurence wont be as frequent
but they are certainly worth the wait, because when guys actually spend time to do sth for you, instead of just making empty promises, they really mean it
and this is the type of guys you'll want

2010-05-25T05:28:00.001-07:00

actually i dun really know what to say
anw thats a very bad way to start a post
grr nvm
start:

after typing an entire para of hw boring the day had been i decided to delete it of
anyway
today was a good day for michelle
why
'cus she passed her H3 ct2
WOW
just rewarded myself fr eating *alot* just now
feeling guilty now =<
my 17 rounds the track gone soon
hahah
back to topic
H3 i passed and guess wad?
i think im gg to fail my H2 instead >.<
lol shall not comment

NOW, i want to talk about sth really important to me
my beloved bottle
let me tell u its life story
4 yrs ago, mdmXU (p.s.mymum) presented michelle with the bottle and instructed her to keep this bottle safe and sound and never lose it
(well cus its expensive and blahblah=.=)
lol looking at the uncountable times she lost it( but it had always miraculously come back to her)
so faithful lol >.<
MdmXu decided not to let michelle hav it anymore
=( awww
so 4 yrs later (now, a few mths ago)
michelle took the bottle out and used it, promising tt she will nt lose it ever agn
but,
from the start of the yr, she had lost it a total of more than 5 times. >.<
the last time she lost it was a week ago
it was really sad
she thought it will be gone, away from her, forever
she searched the entire sch for it, mourned for many days
and...
just now, a few hrs ago...
the bottle, came back for her again, miraculously!
she cant believe her eyes

ok enuff of third person, so tiring hahas
super happy that ive found my bottle
shall promise to keep it in sight every moment hahas

lol i sound lik an unsound girl with a strange love fr her bottle
haha
>.<
im nt ok
bye^^

2010-05-23T03:38:00.000-07:00

Univeral studio

yea

i was really excited about though i'm not really a big fan about rides hahas

that place was totally unexpected

its like another place out of singapore

okay moving on..

yea as ususal

i was hungry before even starting to play

we had 30 bucks complementary food tix each for the entire day woots^^ the main reason im excited too >.<>

so i told myself to bear with it wait fr lunch

my first ride

at The Lost World, the dinosaur theme park

lols

i thought it was just some viewing ride, you know those tree top ride or sth (cus there was lots of trees around)

and it turned out to be those jerky, tilting coaster ride type i was lik -.- ouch

but nt too bad la still can take it

wanted to go for the water ride, but decided to keep it fr later >.<

okay hmm next : Sci-fict city

i experienced a "hurricane" in some cinema thing

quite cool too

lots of rain and fire and loud sound effects of building crashing thundering and surprise jerks :/

but cool XD

still gt... cant really rmb

i went for the Shrek 4D movie

walao...

gt one part freak me out

one scene many spiders "dropped" and i felt hairy things brushed my legs

eww><

but well thats the point isnt it

it felt real

hahas roller coaster

thats the highlight isnt it

hahas after that ride i totally cui diao

some mummy ride

had to walked a long way in

and the way made me worried even more

cus it was cold, dark and .. kong bu jiu dui liao

hmm

it was really an emotional roller coaster ride

srsly

just that the ride started for me before i got on the train

hahaha

1) while waiting, i was getting more and more worried

2) when i got on the seat, the feeling of immense regret hit me

3) during the ride, i was =.=( i-wanna-get-off-now)

4) lastly, when the ride was over i felt weak with happiness ^^

emotional ride right? =D

i tot singapore rides gg be chicken feet de lol

but it proved me wrong

我错了:'<

haha

after that i was feeling giddy and hen xiang tu liao

yupps and i went fr a number of shows and movies musicals

really gt standard one leh haha

haha

but a good day spent there

food were nice but $$

ahhaha

i felt the laps i swam ytd one by one washed down the toilet bowl, with every bite of my burger at "new york city"

luckily i persisted through my 20 laps ytd

(alright, im bragging here abit, cus tai you cheng jiu gan le ^^)

alrights, shall end here

bt because thats all

universal studio mei you so cui la

still gt lots to say and describe just that michelle's memory is failing her right now

cus of that ride im still nt thinking right

maybe my brain is upside down now, lols

hahas tmr chem ct2 hw arh zzz

haven started revising =(

hehe

all in all

universal studio was a really great place

really well done-d

michelle's family and her 真的玩到好开心 =)

2010-03-07T03:46:00.000-08:00

if u know where you want to be, no matter which route u took, you will end up where u meant to be.
haha
makes total sense
i'm not going to let myself face the same thing next yr
yonghao makes sense, michelle now=/=michelle then
i'll work harder

2010-02-26T07:25:00.000-08:00

didn't mean to 散开 or to be mean
its my first instinct to do that
old habit
carnt helped being cold too
because i really dunno hw to go back to what it was like
~~~

shouldnt have started the post with this
depressing
but i feel sorry ><
well when i should still be angry
so 矛盾la

nevermind forget about it
its history
and i dun take history

today is really the turn for my week
really happy today ^^
was dreading H3 for the entire day
it was SPA
budden guess wad
the machine broke down and end up we did nth
but i damm happy=D
cus everybody damm funny
jus sketching the graph, most of the time spent on deciding the axis units
super =.=

wushu was super got cheng jiu gan today
even more happy ^^
den after that was pizza hut
shujie treat me drink
wa my happy meter hit records high le fr the week
super happy der ^^ ^^

michelle you should focus more about the happy things in life
instead of those which makes you unhappy
laugh aso guo yi tian
cry aso guo yi tian
logically you will want to laugh through it right
so michelle is super duper happy now in relative to the past few days
nobody cn spoil her mood =D

but sometimes just sometimes, i can't stand feeling alone, i'm so selfish

2010-02-25T06:34:00.000-08:00

indeed a very very bad week for michelle
mon plain boring and terrible
tues stunned and depressed by h3 CT1 and know y
wed still depressed, speech day audition made my mood worse
thurs bad hair day, pissed off. missed 2 86 in a row how dumb
fri only looking forward to bathing with wt after wushu
i mean she bath in her own cubicle and me in my own*

but but
but
i believe i wont stay at the minimum of my graph for long!
because my life is a sinusoidal graph
plenty of ups and downs
but i'll soon get over it

ivle DC was a pleasant surprise, 9 out of 10
^^
first thing to make me got cheng jiu gan fr this week
wahahah see hw pathetic this week had been
but its better than nth right?
michelle must hao hao jia you wor! dont disappoint yourself
enough is enough
you've got better things to think about
though its hard
but tell yourself come on its just a few more months
hahas it will be over soon
persist persist persist

i guess i'm too mean to you

2010-02-20T23:16:00.000-08:00

i finally realised or should i say admit this:
the more you understand a person
the more you need to learn to accept him
well there is still a limit for this acceptance

the first time girl meets boy
the first impression formed may be great, wonderful
oh he's the one!
and that impression will last for very long
unless he really did sth v wrong

that first impression made you want to know him more
but the more you know
the more doubts you have about him
the first impression starts to shake

and perhaps at a point of time, totally collapse
well at least this tells you that the person is a real bastard

haha
but the truth is the more u know abt sb the more flaws you'll find about him or her
agree?
and you'll really need to have a certain capacity to accept him
as a friend or sth more.

well this explains why quick-fix dating/ marriage doesn't work.
the more the wife know about the husband
or the other way round
the more the wife may have doubts about the decision to get married
the feeling of "regretting" accumulate
one fine day husband says sth wrong
and tada
divorce

both sides need time
to understand one and other before settling down
if both are able to accept each other flaws
well
congrats
if you carn, no point forcing yourself
wont work anyway

~~~
ok back to michelle boring life
its a sunday
end of my-long-awaited-but-turned-out-sucky-weekend
woow great
im starting to love sarcasm^^
the entire day
i shall accentuate "the-entire-day" i've spent it on h3 chem spectrometry
and im still not done with it
but hopefully this effort will pay off on tues
im really praying hard now

tmr is mon lalala
carn wait fr econs tutorial
hope it'll fulfilling enough
the rest i shall try my best to absorb as much as possible
well i will
no
i must.

"good better best, never let it rest, till your good is better, your better is best"
shall be my slogan for the next few days
michelle go! hahah

tyty yixiu for asking ^^aww man =D
tyty yonghao for the encouragement
you and your unique method of trying-to-sound-like-you're-worse-than-me
hahas but it kind of work anyway ><
朋友们 jyjy too!

2010-02-20T04:50:00.000-08:00

need some place to rant
dun wan to include this in my dairy will spoil it
ong not onlineT.T
so im left with here
D: garrw
im just ultimate pissed off today
the whole day spectro chem dc and chem eqm
fuck seriously damm no life
went cousin hse fr dinner
and its steamboat agn
was expecting sth fun to end the day on a good note
but came home even more pissed
snapped at mum and sis
now still stuck with DC
oh man
saturday night with DC gaawd how roomantiicc
im gg mad
tues h3 chem CT1
and now im still more than 60% sure i will fail it
and i still gt so many tutorials to do
probability ionic blabla
so many extra practices un touched
grrr

and y am i still here complaining
michelle seriously you are disappointing
you know what you want but you are still not getting your butt off to go get it
waiting to see it fly pass you
and then regret
and regret
bt still not doing anything about it
come on
you are not like this
you hate this kind of attitude
having the ability but wasting it
17 years have gone by
if u still dun get up and make full use of it
in a blink of eyes you'll be 71 and regretting

is this wat u want
obviously no.

come on, you know you arent like that

wow i feel better now,
this works man!
the-scolding-yourself-therapy
okay
lets go ~~DC DC DC

2010-02-17T06:20:00.000-08:00

I'm tired really drained
not physically but mentally

common tests are all coming up
and i feel super not prepared
h3 test next tues and i still carn get my tutorials right
but shall persist!
thats what michelle is good at right? :)
and yh says he believe i can do it
so i shall jian chi dao di
at least i tried my best and leave no regrets right? =)
thats what that matters to me

michelle need to buck up jy
cny celebration over
she need to pay more attention in classes and work harder!
nth is more impt than doing well
but she needs to be happy too
she needs plenty of breaks and then work hard and smart
many things in life to look forward to!

stop being depressed over minor stuffs ok?
ok.

2010-02-12T06:42:00.001-08:00

It's Valentines day!
a day of giving
spent the whole night wrapping and drawing
but im very happy

it feels really good to giv out presents to your friends XD
a day u can show them hw much u appreciate their friendship

i've successfully kept the record of having 18 "single" valentines days
damm happy der
looking forward to the 19th one
oh man do i sound sulky
hahas im not! im just waiting for the right one to appear!
XD

the 'wushu' outing was fine
pool was ok today
hehe
went shopping with sp khor yy and darren at bugis
seriously now i uds what they meant abt hw different guys and girls are at shopping
see look try one then buy immediately
wa really first time i see ppl shop lik that
me and ong will always walk one big round den decide
omg la cui der
hahas but nvm im happy with my shopping skills

im so tired but happy
cus noe why
im finally so over with it!
yay
happy chinese new year!

michelle's whole new story

2010-02-01T02:08:00.000-08:00

i ache all over
my hand feel so weak from ytd bbq fire fanning
omg >.< so noob
its only the 3rd week of sch
but it feels like 3 months for me
so many things happened
my MOF, all those wushu performances, wushu farewell and wushu CIP!! wooh
that one gt the best sense of achievement der!

but im starting to feel drained out
am i?
see i'm not even sure

i wanna tok abt wushu CIP
the children are so innocent
they made me start to love kids^^
and i'm so happy when i see how my frens treat them! just like father/mother and son
hmm esp like how zhaojie did
oh ya, and yongyuan too! XD
hahas so proud of them! =D

and there is this little boy called wei jie
he's my fav
really he has a kind of selfless attitude
he took everything so seriously and handle all his small lanterns with so much care
he is humble and happy
not that kind of happy when he will go all high and run around
that kind of happiness that he won't over show it
it just shows in his smile
and his smiles are so influencial
i feel so happy when i see him happy:) yay

but in general
though this 3 weeks had been so taxing
i feel very happy
and all of these seems to add more meaning to my life
yay
thankyou to everyone who had made of these a realityXDXD
you can't imagine how grateful and happy i am =D

2010-01-17T01:36:00.000-08:00

yesterday was a great day

jacq and I went to the BCA scholarship and career fair
mainly its on civil and environmental engineering
all the scholarship require up to 6yrs bond(overseas) and 4 yrs (local)
w-o-w

there are many scholarships available
but it'll be quite sad if you are stuck with a job you dislike for 6 yrs
miserable

bt anyway
I don't think it'll be that easy to get one
hahas
there are at least 2 thousand student that are much better than you taking the A's
quite a depressing thought
but never mind!
if i tried my best
i shouldn't feel any regrets
right, michelle? right!
hahas
going kuku, talking to myself, but i do that quite a lot >.<
maybe i should include that under "what kind of person am i under the application form for the book price"
jus kidding.
enough of this...
ok next.

after the fair, we went to hougang mall and have some desserts
well i tried black seseame paste
taste gd at first but slowly it starts to get rather sickening
we bid goodbye and i met up with the rest and went to punggol cc for our performance!
yay
=D
so we helped out and prepare
got popcorn and bread and coffee
but i didn't have the appetite cus of the blackish paste
even made some jokes about having black coloured vomit
cool
aww stomach felt quite uneasy
shouldnt have ate but its a good experience:)

luckily i managed to borrowed a set of biaoyanfu from yy
nearly xia si wo when i realised that my set didn't have the pants D:
but i'm touched that shujie even went an extra mile to contact suipeng to see if he could help>.<
hahaha thankyouuu :*
bt i managed to called yy first and luckily he got an extra set! tytyty woah
really feel like one big stone lifted off my chest
ok la not that kua zhang but dunno why i panicked till liddat
shall be calm next time
no, mustn't have a next time! >.<
hahas the set fits and i did better than the previous time
as long got improvement jiu happy liao!
yay hahas

at the end, coach gave me a lift home
bt i decided to drop by at where he is teaching first to lian awhile
^^
the place is near my house
so next time can go there yay XD
happy happy :)

so in conclusion, yesterday was a happy day
so

2010-01-09T21:22:00.000-08:00

end of holiday
sad for many
but happy for me
need a stimulus and a conducive environment to start engine
ya u may think i'm sick

sometimes i thought so too
but too bad, that's michelle, can't do much about it

okay =my 2009 holiday reflections=
enjoyment score: 95/100
'meaningful-ness' score: 100/100
academic-wise score: 45/100
physical work-out score: 78/100

enjoyment score is largely boosted by the following but nt limited to:
1)all outings with ongong
2)all operation saggy
3)the 2 gatherings with 403
4)0309 class chalet
5)Paris
6)family outings
7)sisters lunch >.<
8)Wushu countdown
9)clique stay-over
10)Avatar new moon BandA and many mr :D

meaningful-ness score is full marks thanks to:
1) p-a-r-i-s trip
2) large improvement in house-keeping skills
3) understanding of basic body language
4) understanding about how different males are from females
and many more values gained

academic... >.< i din even finished my hwk

physical work-out largely due to housework....

haha in general
this is one of the best holiday i have ever had

2010-01-08T06:06:00.000-08:00

at times
things just made me ponder about the meaning and fairness in life

fairness
on a very basic level from a normal and sulky teen point of view
one side of me find it really unfair that some ppl are just born richer than others
they do have more opportunities to maximise their potential with all those extra classes and etc
well with money
almost everything can be done easily for them
isn't it?

haha funny

but the other side of me will counter this view
everything is largely dependent on yourself
not an external factor = money in this instance
you can be damm rich
but if you just don't have the drive to stretch yourself and step out of your comfort zone
no amount of money can help you
agree?
and i feel that ,from experience
not being rich or well off will help to develop such drive
cause we are mostly near the edge of our comfort zones, we have the drive to constantly step out of it and work harder
isn't that so?

the principle that applies here is that
not having something, makes you want to work for it, and so at the same time, gain more than what that thing gives you=experience and passion
well thats a rather simple theory that applies to almost everything in life
okay i shall give an eg
you really want a laptop (for practical use)
if you're born rich (luckily or unluckily)
you'll get it easily enough most probably, and in a few days?
but if you are not and of below average
you'll have to take up a job and work hard for it
maybe you'll take 2 months or more?
at the end of the day
surely in both cases you'll get what you want(laptop)
but the journey taken and the actual value of the laptop is very very different
something that is exchanged with your few months of hard work and sacrifice
and which allowed you to make more friends along the way
and at the same time gain so much more knowledge about the society and understand the difficulty of earning and the importance of saving
will certainly makes your bought laptop worth more than the $1300+ you've paid for it
i hope i make sense to you
because it's really important to make wise decisions
and decide what life you want to lead
and to control your fate, not letting it control you

hope this helps

^^0309 class chalet is really wonderful for me even though i must agree that we din do much
everybody is just great and the environment is good (even though we are just beside the old hospital) i like the relaxed atmosphere
you know the slow paced life
of not rushing here and there and missing out the details in life
which are insignificant to us but actually matters alot

i rate 3..5to4 stars :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

once you missed that opportunity
once you had let it down
once you neglected it
that door will just close slowly
in the future
even if it does opens itself to you
it will not be the same anymore
it won't be filled with that same old feelings
it will just be a small crack to remind you of the past that you'll regret

opportunities they are there
but don't missed it
because they won't be a second chance

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

first impressions?
or i should say surface impressions
they matters
people will judge you by them
but those good impressions will just shatter when you decided to know more about him
never judge a book by its cover
no not only the cover,
i should change the phrase to don't judge a book by its cover and its synopsis
haha
you have to read the entire book to determine if its a good one
we people are like books
haha

*everything that i've said its just my opinions, its not absolute. i hope you're matured enough to understand that i didn't mean such cases are true in all situations and at all time* nth personal too

2010-01-01T20:35:00.000-08:00

a brand new year, a brand new start

forget the troubles from 2009 and treasure lessons from 2009

hais >< mum's gone to china
left the 3 of us at home
soon will be jus me when sch starts for the 2

it's okay

"loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunset and make night air smells better"

by Henry Rollins

haha so random

no la

finally i'll have some peace

so that i can finish what im suppose to do

sandy's throwing a tantrum

cause dad banned her from the computer

hais

face black black for the entire day

always like that

hais

me and angee cooked lunch for ourselves

it's nothing great actually,

we just heated up ytd's curry and cooked rice

yum

i cleaned my room today

breathed in at least a bag of dust

no im exagerating

but now i still feel breathless

like gt alot dust stuck in my windpipe

it's nt my room dirty

its the haven-touched-for-many-years-bookshelf that's so darn dusty

i'm planning to get organised for the new year

so i've successfully cut and grouped my few months old newspaper articles tgh

yay

so proud of myself hoho

this feels so much better than slacking

whhoots

for the rest of the holidays will be outings 排满满

shuang der

till now i can confidently announced that my holiday will be ending with a boom

nothing much for me to complain of :)

10 days of beautiful paris

decoration of room in prep of a levels

enjoying a few weeks of fun with 表姐

lots of food fun and laughter

bbq with bobo and friends

developed a darn-organised room

seeing doc with suandi

fabulous count down

with mesmerising firework up-close

hours of learning abt pool

adopted a pool-carrot

staying over

outings

chalets

cooking and house-working skills development

*don't laugh ok, got hear b4 进的了厨房，出得了天堂

hahaha

yay

even though it's a little late

i still want to say happy two-one-zero-one!

2010-01-01T03:01:00.001-08:00

happy 2010 everyone
even though i think it'll be a wonderful year and everything

i hate it when i don't understand things
it bugs me

when this happens my female brain will start thinking of thousands of possibility of what wrong i've unconciously done to make someone feels bad
and this makes me feel as unhappy too

some people tends to hide their feelings
especially males
even till now, when the caveman age is long over
males still think they are superior
oh yes, physically
but mentally wise, i think not always so
males dun like to show their emotions
they dunwan to be seen as a softie

accordin to a bk
"the emotionless mask that men use allows them to feel in control of the situation"
ya feel*
=.=

a female uses a daily maximum of over 20,000 communication units, (facial expression and other emotional expressions)
while a man daily average only adds up to 7,000 communication units

then how can i know what you are thinking
why you are angry or upset
gaixiao la
wad the hell
okok relaxx... -.- whhooo *shen hu xi*

okay not my problem,
im just angry over a common problem that exist btw males and females.
really am i?
im confused now
hey ahjune hi-5
we can form the confused cousin-pair
woohoo

ever since ytd at jolyn's house, i've been zi-highing all the while
i hope this energy can last
but AJ's gonna kill it anyway sooner or later
nvm...

lalala
my 3 new year resolution~ they are great! aha aha y-a-y
1. (ok this is serious) i-want-to-get-an-overseas-scholarship
2. ^^ i-want-to-be-happy-tgh-with-my-family
3. *.* i-will-not-act-like-an-idiot-infront-of-anybody-again

2010- a year michelle is going to emerge as a stronger and more capable woman

2009-12-20T04:04:00.000-08:00

today is a really special day
cus it's my first ever time performing wushu!
okay
i was nervous
that uneasy feeling comes in waves
i worried about this and that
but anyway
it ended
regretfully, i din perform to my best
but nvm its okay!
next time will be better

i walked home from hougang point
i thought it will take 30 min
in the end i took one entire hour to reach home
felt damm dehydrated when i reached home

on another note
the body language book that i've read really helped me to notice many many things
i can tell if sb is willing to start a conversation
i can tell if sb is interested in you
suddenly things seem more obvious
but im nt pro yet
so maybe i interpret wrongly
hehe
but da gai da gai la

how i wish i can know what you are thinking and what you feel
really

2009-12-19T01:46:00.000-08:00

thanking ppl makes your life beautiful and meaningful
do it
you'll be happy
i'm gg to thank 3 group/individual ppl today watch out for you name!
make it a habit to thank those who have helped make your life a better one;)

yesterday was a really packed by fulfilling day for michelle
she has to rush down and reached school at 8am
so that she can print some research materials for her MOF debate and borrow some books on medical chem for her H3
in the end, very unluckily
books are still unavailable to borrow due to stock taking
and her printing card got stuck in the machine
so the waking up early-rush-to-library-at-8am was futile
so she went to wushu room at 8,30am
but again yesterday was really not her day
the room wasn't open
so she decided to go upstair and enjoy the sun and wind
finally things seem right for her
the sun was just the right temp
warm to her skin and the wind was refreshing
so she sat on the table facing the new track and close her eyes, relaxing
letting the wind and sun light bath on her
she thought about life in the future
she was hopeful
she want a meaningful life like others

just suddenly the sound of the grass cutter machine rudely jolt her back to reality
moodily she drag herself back to the wushu room
still it's not open
so she sat beside the door reading her newspaper with a rather unhappy look

after wushu and bidding goodbye to her friends she rushed home to change for tonight's concert and class gathering
and gavin asked her to hurry and don't be late
so she rushed and rushed
and thankfully reached early and on time
=D
but everybody else= the guys were late
so michelle decided to call gavin ong and had wanted to scold him
but in the end a stranger man picked up

ok enough of the third person
so tiring to type ok back to first
michelle = me

so i realised i've just been rude to the wrong person
damm ps der
so i waited and finally they appeared not long after
all were guys
=.=
hais
im the only girl
really very gan ga at first
but things gt better ltr
weiyao intro me to a very nice taiwan xiao chi downstair at the cathay
i wanted to eat alone while the rest go and pick up alvin
but kenneth, weiyao and junda are nice enough to pei me
thankyou gentlemen^^
hehe :D :D
the class didn't changed at all
the guys are forever obsessed with bullying alvin
it kind of become a hobby for them
haha
i just watch and laugh, 我是乖女孩^^
hahaha
also, they are still into dota
gosh
so at the beginning they were dota-ing here and there
and im clueless about the things they are so excited about haha
but i think it's a guys thing
luckily i still got yongyuan to talk to
thankyou to you hehe><
but like i've said things gt better
the topic changed to i forgot what
hehe
i dunno why ppl jus can;t help bt describe me as a mugger
come on
i dun mug
nvm you all wun believe anyways -.-
i still have other things to do ok XD
this holiday i haven't done much sch work
everyday was housework and cooking
but i'm enjoying it
so i wun mind being a housewife next time
but i wun want to be one, that's abit too un ambitious for me
if a woman dun have power and status
you'll never know and control what your guy is doing outside
agree?

nvm back to topic
BODYGUARDS and ASSASINs damm nice
i only realised near the end that IP man is inside :X
damm kuku der
hehe but i love the movie!!
go watch ppl

so after that i bused to VJ
hai why the sch so difficult fr me to find
i had to ask marcus :D
tyty
and some ppl on the bus
ok im hopless in my directions
i still carn differ left from right now
argh

thats all

2009-12-16T06:35:00.001-08:00

i just can't take my eyes off you

2009-12-13T08:02:00.000-08:00

omg
i think im losing interest in everything
im losing that drive that i had
the motivation to keep myself working and persisting
i think i left it in paris
haha
maybe i got just a little too used to the relax lifestyle i enjoyed in paris
haha

when i walked
i feel the drag
like somebody is pulling me from behind
i got tired rushing here and there
jus felt like taking my own sweet time
everything now its like so relax
and its bad
really

my hwk
it's still stacked as high
i'm jus finishing 2 assignments per day
today was even less
how pathetic am i

ya
now am i blogging
when i should be researching on the getting on my nerves econs
the research is really killing my interest
its so boring and i personally dun see a point
so nw instead of complaining
i should start and find a way to see meaning in completing my research
and perhaps
find a way to shake myself back to reality
michelle wee you are now in singapore
a place that u can barely afford to relax and lie back

my memory is wipe clean of all the contents for PCM
but i can still rmb my speech for OP and pamun
so wad does this tell?
i don;t know
but i'll find out.

2009-12-12T01:15:00.000-08:00

please can you give me a map?
i'm lost in your beautiful eyes

delegate, please be reminded that socialising is not in order during debate and should be save for the social event in the night

i suddenly thought of this hehe
quite hilarious to say this during the debate

the social event for PAMUN is rather interesting
you can see lots of ppl
yupps
the 5 singaporeans
were not socialising during the social event, which is held in a club in paris
hahas walking around aimlessly
anyway
i think it's an asian thing
cus the koreans are like us, gathering in some corner
in their own world

the rest of them are jus wild
dancing
letting their hair down
the girls are really O.O
sth i dun think i can see in singapore
and i dun think i wan to elaborate

the food is not fab
but the tarts and burgers are niceXD
it's a buffet anyway
but alcohol not allowed ><
so this is what the UN delegates do at night after their conference?
no la
i doubt so
i guess theirs will be in a classy restuarant sipping expensive wine
hahas
that's why real business man and politician can sit at the business class
while fake politicians like the 5 of us have only the economy seats
rachael mentioned that when we were abt to board the plane
for no reason, i find this strangely amusing
heheh

but i think ours nt bad le la
hehe
the 5 of us
managed to sneak out
and took a night walk... without any jackets
so it's like singapore wear in winter 4 degree
wooh
but damm shuang de
we gave up after abt 10 to 15 min cus its too cold
and we went back down to the club
orh it's an underground club, cool right
rachael and richard stayed at the reception area while zuhali, celeste and me went back further down to where the food and dance are

sooon after some time
we went back to the hotel and prep for the 2nd day of conference,
yay finally my topicXD
all of them worked till very late for our general assembly resolution
hahas but i was too tired and fell asleepXD opps

2009-12-10T02:46:00.000-08:00

DAY 2-
28/9/09

we checked into the hotel
okay it's very small
but inside its really nice-looking and cozy!
see, you carn judge a book by its cover right

tell you, the lift is damm cool~
nnothing like those in sg
okay firstly its white
and ok small
the cool thing is that u have to open a normal looking door and tada- it's a lift!
and you have to close the normal looking door before pressing a button to go up
abit vintage type
omg i love it^^
and it will scare u everytime becuase it will jerk hardly before stopping
awww

the room is small but very clean and homely=)
celeste and my room had a great view
we can see some very nice buildings that paris has
the toilet is also very clean! gosh
but the door is difficult to push, i always have to ask celeste to help me everytime i want to get out -.-

after settling down for awhile we went down to get some food for lunch
so we browse through franprix
we bought bottles of water to stock up ><
and then we shopped at the bakery!
the 5 of us are crazy about french pastries
so we bought our first meal in paris, 5.50€ for sandwich, tart and water
celeste and i shared one meal and we bought macrons
oooooo ahhhhh
the rest of the day was spent in our hotel

very soon dinner time came
we walked to our pre-booked restaurant
we had libanese meal
ok...
the serving was huge
and the flavouring was very strong
so most of us couldn't finish
for starters we had pita bread with salad
main course we had chicken and lamb
dessert we had cream milk with honey and pistacho topping
taste great the dessert :D

it was wierd at first cause there was no conversation and it was very quiet
so rachael made a bad attempt by asking "so, what's your favourite colour?"
hahas the conversation fizz out quite fast so everybody went quiet again
rachael tried again by asking how's the weaher today
hehe

so i shall start commenting
i think it was around 6 to 7 degree that time
rather cold
there was still chilly winds blowing at you
it's very dry
so my lips cracked
and i dun like the feel of lip balm
and worse still i lost my winter jacket tgh with the lugagge
so you cn imagine me freezing
but i was fine with the cold
at least it is something i can never experience in singapore
i love the weather in paris!!
hais

so day 2 ended
me and celeste had classical music to coax us to sleep that night
we woke up several time in the night
if im not wrong it's 1am 3 am 4 am
at 4 am we gave up sleeping and talked abt the breakfast buffet we gg to have later
we worried about the standard of the buffet since the hotel is soo small
we came down punctually at 7am to the dining room
the lights not even switched on yet
we had the whole room to ourselves then,

seems like we worried too much
breakfast was great!

i love paris~

DAY1

2009-12-09T18:25:00.000-08:00

DAY ONE - paris

27/11 - 28/11

you have no idea how excited i was
this is the trip i have been working for since september
and now im just about to board the plane to PARIS- the city of light

my family and cousin family came to send me off

aww man how sweet ^^
14 hours ride coming~~

i was damm hyper
just can't stop smiling
me and suandi was snapping away pics for memo
first time im gg to europe~ :D

okay we board the plane,
Singapore airline...~this trip just can't get any better XD
A380

i sat between richard and Zuhali :)
i was too hyper to sleep kept gg to the toilet cause i drank too much:X
the toilet bowl is scary
when u flush it, the whole thing inside get sucked away
with a very loud sound
feels like it's sucked out of the plane
*.* no la cant be right?

the plane food was the best i ever had

(maybe cus i dun travel by plane much-.-)
supper was great
i tried roasted beef fillet but i only liked the potatoes
woohoo
still gt choco to indulge myself in
hw i wish i can try bloody mary (opps jkjk im still under 18*)
anyway they serve ferrero rocher and lay's for snacks
gosh
i half-watched about 7 movies cus i was so bored
couldn't sleep
richard is the pro, he almost slept throughout, except waking up for the meals
after waiting painfully for around 10 more hours
breakfast was served~

to me the plane ride was really =..=
i couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate on any movie, was very thirsty and my legs were numb
so you can imagine hw happy i was when i know that we are finally alighting` in paris

then the highlight
the airline lost my luggage
all my chargers are gone
my laptop batt and hp batt are dying alrdy
and worse, my camera batt is alrdy dead
so no pictures T.T

it was 8am in the morning when we alight
after i filed my report we proceed to the hotel, another hour ride:X
it didn't feel like an hour, because the outside scenery is great! nothing you can see in Singapore

bet you're jealous XD
at first sight, i know paris will be a great place

2009-11-23T01:27:00.000-08:00

4 more days! wooh
im finally done with my first draft, how slow can i get T.T
i really hope it will snow in Paris! though i doubt so=(

my luggage is really big and heavy
what if it breaks half way?
that happen 5 years ago when i went to australia with my pri sch band
and end up my principal help me carry! hehe
so sweet~

i'm gg to take lots and lots of pictures
memories are the best presents you can bring back!

and im gg to wear wanting's jack hat~
im sure i'll stand out very prominently in the busy streets of paris!
hehe

im gg to talk to lots of ppl from paris
im gg to pick up some french
im gg to see many hotties ><
im gg to enjoy the cold
im gg to eat good food
im gg to try some snails(hopefully)
im gg to have fun being independent
im gg to jump on the hotel bed
im gg to eat till the hotel kui ben during the daily breakfast buffets
im gg to search for some antiques
im gg to learn about french ppl
im gg to try their coffee
im gg to eat the pastries there ( i heard that they are wonderful)
im gg to cook maggi mee late in the night
and im gg to have a really unique 10 days in Paris

oooh yay

2009-11-18T00:25:00.000-08:00

my mum is really in a bad mood these few day
why?

firstly, popo is back in China, and she has to do most of the housework now after she comes back from her work
and im still stubbornly refusing to wash my socks =X

secondly, because of the paris trip for my PAMUN. Large sum of money spent. *heartbreak*
so she needs to worry more about our expenses

thirdly, i insisted on having tuition starting from dec
and its very expensive
though i promised to pay all the fees
i think my mum is still very doubtful

seriously, i'm also unsure how am i gg to settle the fees
saving $4 per day is still not enough and im currently jobless
wow i sound like i've just been retrenched><
haha so must find a way after coming back from paris
go michelle go

im quite a well trained self motivator
lucky for me
you know what,
i cant wait to go to paris!
wanna meet lots of ppl from other countries!
yay yay

dun worry, everything it's gg to be just fine
i'll settle these after paris=D
im sure i can do this

2009-11-17T06:03:00.000-08:00

My love language? it's kind of a mix of all
hahas i hate it when ppl starts asking me all sorts of stufffs that i dun wish to answer

and i dun like it when i feel like i'm being stalked

asking for details of my private life

it will just destroy my good mood

seriously, guys with more "substance" are more suitable
able to understand what i think and say
able to talk to me
you know, constructive conversation><
so don't try to start a boring superficial conversation with me
things will jus be much worse, if u speak the wrong thing at the wrong time

i prefer matured guys who are more sensitive to my feelings
knowing what to say at the right time
and being cool, while also caring at times

having pretty eyes i feel its an asset too
eyes are window to one's heart><

ya maybe ten years down the road
i can send this to the match-making agency
hehe

maybe you are starting to think that i'll be left on the shelf for the rest of my life
no way i can find this mr right
who says?
haha i shan;t elaborate:P

but the really sad sad thing is that
don't you realised, the more time you spent with the person, the more you'll understand him, the higher chance you'll realise

oh shit, he is not the one im looking for
so sorry

but be happy if you realised this now

2009-11-16T03:29:00.000-08:00

a really busy day><

i love the asthetic program! omg the really cool jap guy is super cute

i was totally mesmerised

and ya, i changed my laptop's wallpaper<<>

ehehe and guess wad?! my lap top is spoilt again><>

i attended the HO RIH HWA kecture at suntec

was really cool, though my terms were hard to understand

i realised sth,

during the Q n A session, i learnt lots not from the lecturer, lets see..

out of the about 10 questions

i think only about or two were asked by singaporeans

kind of sad

the rest mostly were from China

even the lecturer was saying " is this shanghai?"

hahas

does this shows how inactive we are?

im guilty of that man,

anyway it was a cool lecture and i had gained lots

all in all, today was a fulfilling day (wierd way to comment like this though)

byebyes~~

2009-11-15T05:57:00.000-08:00

Today was baking day with my ONGONG

hahas

diet cookies~

damm nice arh i show you

thats my gingerbread girl

cute right><

heheh ong de is gingerbread boy, so they make a perfect couple! awww

for the rest of the day, i was researching for PAMUN

bt stuck, dunno whr to head

damm jialat

at night i went out for dinner with kjy and jacq><>

botak jones nice!

hahas had a nice ride home too~ yay

nice day