didn't mean to 散开 or to be mean
its my first instinct to do that
old habit
carnt helped being cold too
because i really dunno hw to go back to what it was like
~~~

shouldnt have started the post with this
depressing
but i feel sorry ><
well when i should still be angry
so 矛盾la

nevermind forget about it
its history
and i dun take history

today is really the turn for my week
really happy today ^^
was dreading H3 for the entire day
it was SPA
budden guess wad
the machine broke down and end up we did nth
but i damm happy=D
cus everybody damm funny
jus sketching the graph, most of the time spent on deciding the axis units
super =.=

wushu was super got cheng jiu gan today
even more happy ^^
den after that was pizza hut
shujie treat me drink
wa my happy meter hit records high le fr the week
super happy der ^^ ^^

michelle you should focus more about the happy things in life
instead of those which makes you unhappy
laugh aso guo yi tian
cry aso guo yi tian
logically you will want to laugh through it right
so michelle is super duper happy now in relative to the past few days
nobody cn spoil her mood =D

but sometimes just sometimes, i can't stand feeling alone, i'm so selfish

indeed a very very bad week for michelle
mon plain boring and terrible
tues stunned and depressed by h3 CT1 and know y
wed still depressed, speech day audition made my mood worse
thurs bad hair day, pissed off. missed 2 86 in a row how dumb
fri only looking forward to bathing with wt after wushu
i mean she bath in her own cubicle and me in my own*

but but
but
i believe i wont stay at the minimum of my graph for long!
because my life is a sinusoidal graph
plenty of ups and downs
but i'll soon get over it

ivle DC was a pleasant surprise, 9 out of 10
^^
first thing to make me got cheng jiu gan fr this week
wahahah see hw pathetic this week had been
but its better than nth right?
michelle must hao hao jia you wor! dont disappoint yourself
enough is enough
you've got better things to think about
though its hard
but tell yourself come on its just a few more months
hahas it will be over soon
persist persist persist

i guess i'm too mean to you

i finally realised or should i say admit this:
the more you understand a person
the more you need to learn to accept him
well there is still a limit for this acceptance

the first time girl meets boy
the first impression formed may be great, wonderful
oh he's the one!
and that impression will last for very long
unless he really did sth v wrong

that first impression made you want to know him more
but the more you know
the more doubts you have about him
the first impression starts to shake

and perhaps at a point of time, totally collapse
well at least this tells you that the person is a real bastard

haha
but the truth is the more u know abt sb the more flaws you'll find about him or her
agree?
and you'll really need to have a certain capacity to accept him
as a friend or sth more.

well this explains why quick-fix dating/ marriage doesn't work.
the more the wife know about the husband
or the other way round
the more the wife may have doubts about the decision to get married
the feeling of "regretting" accumulate
one fine day husband says sth wrong
and tada
divorce

both sides need time
to understand one and other before settling down
if both are able to accept each other flaws
well
congrats
if you carn, no point forcing yourself
wont work anyway

~~~
ok back to michelle boring life
its a sunday
end of my-long-awaited-but-turned-out-sucky-weekend
woow great
im starting to love sarcasm^^
the entire day
i shall accentuate "the-entire-day" i've spent it on h3 chem spectrometry
and im still not done with it
but hopefully this effort will pay off on tues
im really praying hard now

tmr is mon lalala
carn wait fr econs tutorial
hope it'll fulfilling enough
the rest i shall try my best to absorb as much as possible
well i will
no
i must.

"good better best, never let it rest, till your good is better, your better is best"
shall be my slogan for the next few days
michelle go! hahah

tyty yixiu for asking ^^aww man =D
tyty yonghao for the encouragement
you and your unique method of trying-to-sound-like-you're-worse-than-me
hahas but it kind of work anyway ><
朋友们 jyjy too!

need some place to rant
dun wan to include this in my dairy will spoil it
ong not onlineT.T
so im left with here
D: garrw
im just ultimate pissed off today
the whole day spectro chem dc and chem eqm
fuck seriously damm no life
went cousin hse fr dinner
and its steamboat agn
was expecting sth fun to end the day on a good note
but came home even more pissed
snapped at mum and sis
now still stuck with DC
oh man
saturday night with DC gaawd how roomantiicc
im gg mad
tues h3 chem CT1
and now im still more than 60% sure i will fail it
and i still gt so many tutorials to do
probability ionic blabla
so many extra practices un touched
grrr

and y am i still here complaining
michelle seriously you are disappointing
you know what you want but you are still not getting your butt off to go get it
waiting to see it fly pass you
and then regret
and regret
bt still not doing anything about it
come on
you are not like this
you hate this kind of attitude
having the ability but wasting it
17 years have gone by
if u still dun get up and make full use of it
in a blink of eyes you'll be 71 and regretting

is this wat u want
obviously no.

come on, you know you arent like that

wow i feel better now,
this works man!
the-scolding-yourself-therapy
okay
lets go ~~DC DC DC

I'm tired really drained
not physically but mentally

common tests are all coming up
and i feel super not prepared
h3 test next tues and i still carn get my tutorials right
but shall persist!
thats what michelle is good at right? :)
and yh says he believe i can do it
so i shall jian chi dao di
at least i tried my best and leave no regrets right? =)
thats what that matters to me

michelle need to buck up jy
cny celebration over
she need to pay more attention in classes and work harder!
nth is more impt than doing well
but she needs to be happy too
she needs plenty of breaks and then work hard and smart
many things in life to look forward to!

stop being depressed over minor stuffs ok?
ok.

It's Valentines day!
a day of giving
spent the whole night wrapping and drawing
but im very happy

it feels really good to giv out presents to your friends XD
a day u can show them hw much u appreciate their friendship

i've successfully kept the record of having 18 "single" valentines days
damm happy der
looking forward to the 19th one
oh man do i sound sulky
hahas im not! im just waiting for the right one to appear!
XD

the 'wushu' outing was fine
pool was ok today
hehe
went shopping with sp khor yy and darren at bugis
seriously now i uds what they meant abt hw different guys and girls are at shopping
see look try one then buy immediately
wa really first time i see ppl shop lik that
me and ong will always walk one big round den decide
omg la cui der
hahas but nvm im happy with my shopping skills

im so tired but happy
cus noe why
im finally so over with it!
yay
happy chinese new year!

michelle's whole new story

i ache all over
my hand feel so weak from ytd bbq fire fanning
omg >.< so noob
its only the 3rd week of sch
but it feels like 3 months for me
so many things happened
my MOF, all those wushu performances, wushu farewell and wushu CIP!! wooh
that one gt the best sense of achievement der!

but im starting to feel drained out
am i?
see i'm not even sure

i wanna tok abt wushu CIP
the children are so innocent
they made me start to love kids^^
and i'm so happy when i see how my frens treat them! just like father/mother and son
hmm esp like how zhaojie did
oh ya, and yongyuan too! XD
hahas so proud of them! =D

and there is this little boy called wei jie
he's my fav
really he has a kind of selfless attitude
he took everything so seriously and handle all his small lanterns with so much care
he is humble and happy
not that kind of happy when he will go all high and run around
that kind of happiness that he won't over show it
it just shows in his smile
and his smiles are so influencial
i feel so happy when i see him happy:) yay

but in general
though this 3 weeks had been so taxing
i feel very happy
and all of these seems to add more meaning to my life
yay
thankyou to everyone who had made of these a realityXDXD
you can't imagine how grateful and happy i am =D